Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
