how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
