This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
