can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
