you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize