i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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