why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
