she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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