Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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