i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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