it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
