I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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