I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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