i may or may not be watching the land before time
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
