11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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