Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
