Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
