Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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