She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Shame - the story of my life.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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