Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
