I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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