i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
