smell my finger.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
