it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I still have a little drunk in my system
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
