dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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