Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Two words: blizzard sex
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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