Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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