eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
