God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
