I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
