After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she woke up with a sticky ear
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
