I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
