whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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