am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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