did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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