Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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