I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
