You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
