Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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