I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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