I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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