Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
