Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
