So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
