Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
