he puts the penis in happiness.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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