They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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