i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
