pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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