she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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