What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
