My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
