Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
