Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
