He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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