I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
