Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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