my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
