Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
