and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
