What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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