Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
