so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
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When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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