the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
