We're like a lot better than the average bears
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize