I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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