OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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