So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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